The year of 2024

The year that broke her into a million pieces.

The year that she finally fell to the ground harder then ever before.

The year where it was one blow after another.

The year where her nervous system had enough.

The year she had to surrender and allow herself to fall apart.

Forced to step away from everything and everyone she once knew, needing to be with herself, the whole self… who even was that person?

Who was she under that armour?

Who was she under all that pain and sadness

Why was her body still holding onto it all?

Was she ever enough?

Was it mine? My mothers? Grandmothers, Ancestors perhaps?

Was it from all the traumas throughout her life? The abuse? The words and actions of others?

Her nervous system was at capacity,  could no longer move,

We froze.. we ran.. we cried, we shook, we didn’t eat, we didn’t sleep, we completely shut down…

fell apart laying broken on the floor.

Grateful for the ones who held her, nourished her and walked into that darkness  to be that little glimmer so she knew she wasn’t alone.

We are still raw, the days and nights are lonely but she can see the light, the hope.

She needed the nervous system to finally give up.. to say we can’t take anymore.. enough.

We need to rest, it’s ok to ask for support, it’s ok not to be strong this time.

The year 2024, the year where she finally fell apart.