The place I hated most became the place my nervous system finally exhaled..Pt 2

The truck was packed and off we went, saying goodbye to a home that held so many memories both beautiful and painful.

As we got closer to the place I had dreaded returning to, my body was flooded with emotion

The moment I saw my husband and fell into his arms, I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but it was what we needed.

At that point, our teens were spread across different states and somehow in the middle of all the chaos my husband and I needed the chance to completely fall apart before we could find our way back to each other and ourselves again.

Moving to the country gave me something I didn’t even realise I desperately needed

Space

Space to fall to my knees

Space to surrender

Space to rest

Space to tend to my nervous system after years of surviving in constant hyper vigilance

I craved connection, but I felt too emotionally exhausted to even speak or see anyone

We still had crisis after crisis with the teenagers, but something in me slowly started changing too

I found my voice

I started setting boundaries

I stopped abandoning myself trying to save everyone else

Slowly, without even realising it I became stronger

The healing was happening quietly

My nervous system was softening

My youngest son’s system was calming

My husband and I were finally seeing and understanding each other in ways we never had before

I was finding myself again

Not the version of me that had spent years surviving every crisis but a softer more grounded version

A woman who had learnt how to slow down

How to breathe again

How to rest

How to set boundaries

How to stop carrying everything

This is another huge reason I’m so passionate about supporting mothers

I know what it feels like to completely lose yourself inside motherhood, trauma, burnout, overwhelm and survival mode

I also know healing is possible when a mother is given the space to feel safe, supported, held and heard

Sometimes the places we least want to return to become the exact places that help us heal

Sarah

Xx